Pageants and Poopie

I first need to warn you because I'm sure the first part of my blog entry is going to sound really mean. If you think it applies to you, I'm sure it does. These are my opinions and I'm certainly entitled to them.

CHILD PAGEANTS. They're stupid. Honestly, I think it's the mom's way of fulfilling some dream that didn't come true when they were kids. If you ever watch TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras, you've seen the fat (and sometimes skinny too) moms out in the audience, directing their child who is on stage looking like little Tammy Fayes. Honestly moms, you never made it anywhere in the world of beauty pageants so why do you think you can shake your @$$ in the audience and lead your child to victory? Sit down and shut up. These kids don't look like kids. They have hair the size of Texas and from what I've learned on TV these pageants are big in the state of Texas. (No pun intended) They put their makeup on with spatulas and air brushes. WTF? Do you want your kid to have skin problems before they go to kindergarten? If the kid loses a tooth they have false teeth made.

To sum it up, these kids look like a 4o year old woman with hair that could be compared to the beehive hair do (or hair don't) of days gone by, with Tammy Faye makeup that you have to use construction tools to apply and smile with false teeth.

I've seen episodes where the moms are so mean to their kids that I think DSS should step in and take these kids. On one episode a mom took her kid into the restroom and talked to the little girl so harshly that the kid had tears running down her cheeks and then the mom got mad because she messed up her makeup. They talk to these kids like their tokens they can pawn for personal gain. If the child doesn't win I can only imagine what their home life must be like. But when they win, mama has hit the jackpot. It isn't for the kid, it's for mama.

On one episode there was these 2 sisters that lived in the ghetto. They spent more than $600 on fabrics and other materials to have someone make their dresses. Two dresses but they live in the ghetto. They paid some person to teach these girls how to walk, smile, etc. Kids are kids. Remember when they took their first steps as babies? That's when they learned to walk. Dang, they smiled before they fricking walked!!!

I think pageants are fine for kids and older girls who say they want to do it and can make scholarship money from it. What 7 year old needs a car?

I don't need a crown on my kid's head to tell me that she's beautiful or to fill in some void in my own life.

And don't even get me started on little boys in pageants.

POOPIE. My daughter and I were cutting up the other day and decided that poopie is the perfect sentence enhancer. It's just funny. And immature. But still funny.

Take the sentence "Would you please pass the salt?" Kind of boring, right? Now let's rephrase it. "Would you please pass the poopie?" Much better and brings life to the dinner table. It's great. You should try it sometime but with your own word.

Well, that's all I've got. We did manage to get the Christmas tree up today. Nikolas, the 9 month old, is thrilled by it. I'm sure it will look like poopie by December 25.

Good night and God Bless!